Uncle Wheatley is NOT a moron
by Zelda gamer 137
Summary: "Stop it!" Chell shouted, "Uncle Wheatley is NOT a moron!" A collection of short stories from Human!Wheatley's POV. Poor little Chell. Her father hasn't the time to take care of her.
1. I love to be around you

Disclaimer: The image used for the cover for this story does don't belong to me. I have full permission from the artist, Inverted Mind Inc on DeviantArt, to use it for this story.

The days had been dragging by. My fingers clacked endlessly on my keyboard.

I adjusted my thick glasses and squinted at the computer. Maybe it was time for a break. My vision had begun to blur from the long hours in front of the electronic screen.

A loud screeching yell in my ears alerted me to my next task. "Where are my charts?!"

I grunted and placed a finger to my ears. "Yes Jerry. I'm coming. Just give me a moment."

"Now, moron!"

"Five minutes, Jer!" My fingers went back to clacking at the keyboard.

I was vaguely aware of the small group that was progressing past my desk. But I could see her. The girl that always brightened my day. "But daddy, why can't I come with you?"

I smiled as the little girl's voice pierced my focus. I swung around in my chair and eyed her. Her black hair was pulled back in a ponytail and a pouty expression was drawn across her face.

"I've got work to do, Chell," said her father, "Stay here."

I quickly rose from my seat and took the girl's hand. "I'll watch her if you want," I offered.

Chell's face lit up. "Yeah! Could I stay with Uncle Wheatley?"

Strictly speaking, I was not her uncle. More like a babysitter, but I had jokingly said it once and the nickname stuck.

"Yes, that's fine," he replied, distracted. He was speaking with another scientist and not fully listening to what his daughter said.

I smiled back at her, gathered up the charts that I needed to deliver, and guided Chell out of the room. "Hey, love," I said, stopping in the middle of the hall and kneeling down, "Guess what I've got for you?"

She made a fake stumped face. "An apple?" she laughed.

"Oh! Got me again!" I said, tossing her the fruit and ruffling her hair.

She giggled a bit, but stopped when we began walking again. "Uncle Wheatley?" she said.

"Yes?"

"Why is my dad always so busy?"

I hesitated. "Well..." I began, "Aperture Laboratories is on the verge of a major breakthrough. He's got important work to do. He cares for you plenty, but he's busy. Work's been stuffing him with important things to do, yeah?"

"Is that why you're not busy? Because they don't give you important things to do?"

I winced inwardly. "No no, love. I'm not very... erm, important. Not very high up. Not like your father. I don't get to do things like that. But that's fine! Perfectly. I get to spend more time with you. Right?"

She smiled again. "Right."

As the hall started to get narrower, several people passed by, one of which shoved into me roughly, saying, "Move out of the way, moron."

Another stuck out his foot and I fell face forward onto the ground. My papers scattered across the floor. "Moron!" he shouted.

Chell whipped around and shouted back at the top of her lungs, "Stop it! Uncle Wheatley is NOT a moron!"

The men walked away, chuckling. The little girl started after them, but I grabbed her arm. "Don't worry about it, love. They're not worth your energy."

She dropped to the ground and started picking up my papers.

"Leave it, Chell," I said, "I'll get them."

She ignored me.

"Chell. Leave them," I insisted. "You take care of me all the time. I can take care of you, right?"

"That's not how it works," I said, taking the papers from her hands.

She stood up and sniffed.

"What's the matter, love?" I asked.

"Those guys called you a moron. You're not a moron, uncle Wheatley." She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me.

"No no. It's fine. There's no reason for you to be upset. Everything's going to be fine. Hey! What're you going to do for Bring Your Daughter to Work Day?"

She pulled away from me and shook her head. "I don't think I'm going to do anything."

"Why not? It's a brilliant opportunity."

"I'm not good with science."

"Sure you are! And if you struggle, I'll help you out."

"My dad says you're not allowed to help me with my science projects anymore."

I took her hand again and scratched the back of my head with the other. "Why's that?"

"He said we shouldn't take anymore chances of you screwing things up."

"Did he say that now?"

"He said the exploding volcano was one thing, but that the expanding, multi fiber leaves were not good."

"No? He didn't even like the smellenizers?"

"He REALLY didn't like that one."

I laughed. "You know what? We'll do potato batteries. Keeping it simple, yeah?"

She nodded, swinging back and forth on my arm.

"And if your father is still busy after the day's up, we'll go out for ice cream."

She shrugged.

"No? Not ice cream? What kind of child are you?"

She giggled.

"Alright, Ms. Picky. We'll get cake then. Is that good enough for you?" I asked teasingly.

She nodded happily.

"Good. We'll build our boring little potato batteries, then we'll get cake."

She nodded one final time, tightened her grip on my arm, and crunched into her apple.

A/N: Sorry if this is odd in any way to you guys. It's just a silly little story I thought up last night at 11:30. Haha. I hope you enjoyed! 3 3 3


	2. You have wisdom beyond your years

"Looking for volunteers"

I sighed heavily, staring at the paper in my hands.

Testing on Caroline had already begun. Soon she would not longer be Caroline. She would be GLaDOS. The Genetic LifeForm and Disk Operating System.

I was surprised by the idea, but when they started asking for more people... I hesitated. Was this what I wanted? To be an android? If Caroline was brave enough to do it, wasn't I?

And if I did accept, who would I be? Would I be important, like Caroline? Or would I still be ignored? Would I even still be Wheatley?

I sighed again and rubbed my forehead. What was I thinking? The very idea of turning people into robots was mad! ... But strangely brilliant. To be an android was an interesting thought to entertain.

"Uncle Wheatley?"

"Gah!" I jumped and shoved the paper into a desk drawer, crushing my fingers on the way out. "Ow... Yes, love?" I said, with a pained expression.

"Are you okay? You looked sad." Her eyes were so wide and innocent. She had no idea that the world around was going to change very soon.

"I'm fine," I replied, "Perfectly fine. How're you?"

She shrugged. "I'm okay."

"Did your dad drop you off again?"

"Uh huh. Is that okay?"

"It's brilliant!" I replied, "I'm needing the company right now."

Her face brightened. "Okay!" She plopped down right next to me and stared up at the computer screen. "What are you working on?" she asked.

I chuckled. "I'm not sure you'd understand if I told you."

An offended look drew across her face.

"Erm, that is. I- I don't really understand it either."

This was in fact true, but the little girl just shrugged it off. "Do you want a muffin?" she asked, reaching into a brown paper bag she held.

"I would actually," I said with a smile. She placed a banana nut muffin in my hand and started eating hers. "How are your potato batteries coming along?" I asked, half teasingly.

She shook her head. "Not good. I don't think they're big enough."

"Well," I scoffed, "I suppose we'll just have to tell them to buck up a bit or we'll toss them."

She smiled and returned to eating.

I swiveled my chair back around to my desk. My eyes slowly drifted to the drawer where I had hurriedly shoved away my paper. I couldn't focus on my work anymore; I couldn't even remember what I was working on.

I slowly turned back to Chell. "Hey love. Could I ask you a question?"

"Mm hm," she nodded.

"Now, I know you won't really understand and I can't tell you what's going on. But if you were offered an opportunity to do something incredible and different and amazing, but you're afraid of what would happen to you, would you take it?"

She smiled. "What a silly question, Uncle Wheatley," she commented, "I would say go for it. But be careful. You should check the pros and cons of the situation before you jump in. You could destroy your entire life just as easily as you could change the world for the better. Check yourself before you wreak yourself."

I nodded. "You know, love, you've got too much knowledge for a girl your age. Do you think I could borrow some?"

"No!"

I leapt up from my chair. "Are you sure about that?" I swept her up into my arms and spun her around. Her screaming - giggles echoed through the hallway.

"Put me down!" she squealed.

I pretend cackled, then sat us both down in my desk chair. Chell snuggled up next to me. "I'm so glad I know you Uncle Wheatley."

"Is that so? Well, I'm glad to have met you."

"You're my best friend," she said sincerely.

"And you're mine."

"Can I tell you a secret?" she whispered.

"Sure."

She struggled up and pulled my ear close to her mouth. "You're my only friend," she said even quieter.

"You know what? You're mine."

She smiled and laid against me as I continued to type. In moments, she was asleep.

I could faintly feel her heartbeat against my chest.

In that moment was the most sincere I had ever been with a person. This little girl was my best friend. She was my only friend and I hers.

I gently opened the drawer again, took out the paper, crumpled it up, and threw it in the nearby garbage can.

I didn't need "upgrades." I didn't to be important. All I need was a friend, and I had all the friends I would ever need in the little girl sleeping on my chest. I had my friend in Chell. What more could I need?


	3. And your eyes sparkle like diamonds

"Yes of course I haven't forgotten," I said adjusting my cell phone against my ear, "I'm busy, though. I'll pick you up at five, alright?"

Chell sighed on the other line. "Alright. You better not be late. I'm stuck here with two dozen of my weirdo relatives. I'm hiding in my closet."

I laughed. "I won't be late. I promise. Love you!"

"Love you too, Uncle Wheatley! Oh no... I think they found me. Gottago-"

"Bye." I was cut short by a loud 'beep'. I sighed and slipped my cell phone back into my pocket.

Chell's birthday was slowly drawing nearer as the days dragged their feet. I didn't want to miss it, but with the long hours I spent in the underground facility it was starting to look like I might be stuck. Her father was having a celebration for his promotion and the poor girl was left at home with her aunts and uncles and such.

I raised my eyes back to my desk and spotted the flier that had been left for me. "Project Android is starting! Looking for Volunteers!"

I scowled and started to throw it away, but stopped. It was a waste of paper to throw them all away. And maybe it would be best for me to read up on Aperture new experiment.

I grabbed a file off of my desk and exited the room.

Project Android was going to be the break through of the century. The idea was to create artificial intelligence and have it make its own thoughts and reason with itself and other people. Many companies had already been working on artificial intelligence; it was a very popular project, but not the way Aperture was working on it.

To make something that thinks for itself was difficult, but the CEO, Cave Johnson, was smarter than most. His idea was to build artificial from organic. To make a person into an android and have it develop its own mind. I didn't quite understand how it would work, but the thought of it was genius.

I strode down the hall, eyes locked on the flier, when suddenly- 'Whump!'

"Ow!" A burning sensation covered my torso and my bum hit the ground.

"I am so sorry!" said a feminine voice.

Once I came to my senses, I saw coffee spilled down my white shirt and my papers scattered across the floor with coffee also covering them.

"Oh no, oh no. Here, let me help." A slim pale hand reached down to me.

I looked up. A woman was staring back at me with a very apologetic look was on her face. Long blonde curls hung down her back and her eyes were bright green.

I took her hand and struggled to my feet.

She started frantically wiping down my shirt and digging through her pockets. "Ah no. The one time I don't get napkins," she sighed.

"It's fine, really," I said, "Don't concern yourself."

She continued trying to get the stain out of my shirt, looking terribly flustered. "Gosh, I am so clumsy." She was wearing a blue blouse, black skirt, and a lab coat, much like mine, except several sizes too big.

"Please," I said, "Don't worry yourself. I've got plenty of clean ones at home. I can just change."

"Are you sure?" she asked, nervously.

"Yes, yes. Please don't worry. I'm sorry about your spilled coffee."

"Oh." She laughed at her empty cup, then began gathering up my soggy papers. "There's a coffee shop that I love just half a mile from here. I can get another."

"Oh. Good...great. That's, um... that's good."

We both stood, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot and staring at the ground.

Suddenly, we spoke up.

"Would you like to-"

"What if we-"

We paused and chuckled.

"If you want I could-"

"Let me just-"

I was mentally slapping myself. If I interrupted her one more time, I was going to die. My mouth was sealed shut in fear.

She laughed nervously again, then put out her hand. "Sorry, I'm Valerie."

I seized her hand, a little too quickly. "Uh, Wheatley. My name's Wheatley."

"Okay Wheatley, how about this? You take me to the coffee shop, and I'll buy you a coffee along with mine. Hm?"

I swallowed. "I don't have a car," I squeaked.

She smiled. "Fine then. Neither do I. So we'll walk ourselves down together and buy our own coffees."

"That doesn't quite make things fair."

"Do you want a coffee or not?"

I nodded quickly.

"That is brilliant," I laughed.

She sipped her coffee with a smile. "Now, where exactly are you from? I'm a little mixed up."

"Well," I began, "I'm originally from Bristol... erm, England. Right next to Wales that is. I lived there until I was fifteen, then I moved to London with my dad. After a few years, I decided the city wasn't for me. Flew over the pond at eighteen by myself and hopped around the states for a while. I caught wind of Aperture Laboratories and signed up as quick as I could. Best decision of my life, really. What department do you work in?"

"I work in the medical section. Live in it really."

"You're a doctor?!" I asked, shocked.

"No no," she laughed, "I could never be a doctor. I'm more of a minor job nurse. I recruit and work with the test subjects and I oversee most of the experiments."

"That sounds wonderful!"

"It's maddening actually. Have you heard the new experiments they're working on?"

"Who hasn't?"

"They're insane! I mean, putting people into robots bodies just to grasp at artificial intelligence? That's sick! People are people, not robots."

"Well I- ...I was... um... going to uh..."

She raised her eyebrows. "You- you were gonna sign up?"

"Well I-"

"I didn't mean to be rude. I really didn't. It's a great idea, honest. Go for it."

"No no. It's perfectly fine, really. I'm not offended in slightest. I probably won't even do it."

"No, you should. It could be interesting."

I slowed down my quick paced speech.

She smiled awkwardly. Her green eyes glittered prettily. I mentally slapped myself again to admit it, but she was lovely.

My pocket vibrated. "Sorry, just a moment," I said.

"Not a problem."

I fumbled with my phone and dropped it on the floor. Finally, I manged to pull it up to my eye level. The ringing had ended, but my caller ID showed a smiling little girl with long black hair.

Realization hit me very suddenly. The time read 5:25. "Oh no. Oh no no no no. I'm so very sorry, Valerie. I have to go. I'm late."

"Not a problem," she said again.

I scooped up my coat and cup. "We- we should do this again some time, yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah definitely. Hang on one sec." She drew a pen out of her top pocket and took a napkin from the table.

I nervously tapped my toe and checked my watch; 5:29.

She shoved the napkin into my pocket. "I'll be seeing you, Wheatley," she said.

"Thank you, goodbye!" I raced out of the coffee shop and down the street.


	4. I may be forgetful at times

"Uncle Wheatley, do you have a blue marker or pen?"

"I'm afraid not, love. Sorry," I replied.

"I only need blue to finish it though!" she sighed, "Could I ask around?"

"Alright. Just don't wander too far, okay?"

"Okay!" She scrambled to her feet and ran down the hall.

I groaned, and put my face in my hands. My strength was running thin. I didn't know how much more of this job I could take before I broke.

A muffled voice reached my ears from the headset on my desk. I picked them up. "Yes, hello?" I said.

"Mr. Wheatley?"

"Yes?"

"Mr. Johnson needs some files delivered to his desk."

"Alright." There was a short silence.

"Should I send them to your computer for printing?"

"Oh, me? You want me to deliver them?"

"That's your job, Mr. Wheatley. I'll fax them to you. Don't waste any time. Mr. Johnson is not a patient man." The voice was gone.

I couldn't quite believe it, although was a simple task. They wanted ME to deliver papers to Cave Johnson? I had never met him before, but he was the head of the company!

The fax machine behind me whirred to life and started spitting out paperwork.

I quickly gathered them off of the floor and ran out of the room, forgetting about Chell once again.

...

I knocked on the door. "Hello? I have some papers for Mr. Johnson?"

"Come in," called a voice.

I opened the door to reveal a rather nice office amongst the clutter that was Aperture Laboratories.

"Set them on the desk," the man commanded.

I obeyed.

"Now go," he said, without looking up.

As I turned to leave, a flier on the wall for Project Android caught my eye. I hesitated at the door. "Sir," I said, "Could I ask you a question?"

"Make it quick," he replied, starting to flip through the file.

"It's about Project Android. I was just wondering- Well hypothetically of course, if it was, and this could be for a friend, a family member- how could-"

"Quicker."

"Where- could one... sign up for it? The experiment... thing?"

Cave looked me dead in the eye. "Do you want to join Project Android, Mr. Wheatley?"

"Well I... I don't know."

He studied me for a moment. "Talk to one of the recruitment people down on level 10. Act quickly and you might get a spot."

"Thank you, sir," I said, turning to leave once more with my heart pounding.

He called out to me again, "Wheatley."

"Yes sir?"

"Is this yours? It seems to have gotten mixed up in this file." He held up a drawing.

"I don't-" I spotted Chell's signature in the bottom corner. "Yes yes. I'll take that." I reached over the desk to take the drawing, but the CEO tightened his grip.

"You'd do good in Project Android, Wheatley. I suggest you fill out a form as soon as possible."

I chuckled nervously. "Erm...yes. Thank you...uh, sir." I grabbed the paper and hurried out of the room.

...

"Where did you go?"

I cringed and spun around. "Hello love," I said, "I'm so sorry about that. Had to run something up to Mr. Johnson. I apologize for leaving you. Really. I'm sorry."

Chell smiled. "It's okay. But I hope Mr. Johnson wasn't too hard on you. He's not very nice."

I laughed. "He was perfectly fine, actually. Gave me some good advice...I think."

"That's good. But I lost my drawing! I worked so hard on it!"

I took the drawing from my pocket. "This one?"

She gasped in surprise and took the drawing. "Yes, this is it. Thank you so much, Uncle Wheatley!"

"What is it, if you don't mind my asking?"

She turned the picture around. There wasn't anyway that I could properly name it. It was a metal sphere with a round glass piece in the center and two black handles, one on the top of the glass and one on the bottom. "It's a little robot. I needed the blue for the eye."

"Oh. What's his name? Or hers?"

"I don't know. I just made him up." She returned to coloring.

I considered what Cave had told me. Valerie said she was a test subject recruiter. That was who I needed to see to sign on for Project Android. But did I want to sign on? Hadn't I already settled with myself that I DIDN'T want to sign up? That I didn't need upgrades?

I leaned back.

Cave Johnson himself had told me that I should. That I would do well in the project. I was left with a difficult decision. What should I do?

My eyes drifted back to the flier. It wouldn't hurt to talk to Valerie about it. Just to check up on what I would actually be getting myself into.

"Hey, love," I called.

"Yeah?"

"I've got to head down a few floors to talk to someone. Want to come?"

"Yep. Coming... Here." She placed the drawing on my desk and took my hand.

...

"Level 10," said an automated voice.

"Come along," I said, beckoning to the girl.

She ran towards me, grabbed my arm, and swung onto my back.

"Gah! No!" I laughed. I reached behind me and tickled her sides.

"NO!" she squealed.

"Mr. Wheatley!" shouted a voice.

I stopped suddenly and Chell's screaming ceased.

Valerie stood only a few feet away, tapping her toe on the ground.

"Mrs. Valerie," I said, sliding Chell back to the ground.

"It's Ms. Valerie actually. And this is not a field trip area. This is a high security facility, with top secret data. Children are not allowed."

"Oh no," I said, "Believe me, Chell is very well behaved. She won't go messing with things that-"

"I wasn't talking about the girl," she said.

I stuttered. "I, er... well..."

"I'm afraid you'll have to remove yourself from the premises, before I call security."

"No no, please!" I said quickly, "I just needed to talk to you about something. About..." I glanced at Chell. "About Project-"

"Project Android, yes," she sighed, "Everyone wants to talk about Androids." She checked her watch. "Well I have a few minutes. Shoot."

"Well, I uh... I just wanted to... How- how would one sign up for it?"

"There are registration sheets at the front desk. Just ask nicely. Anything else?"

"What exactly is..."

Chell was listening attentively.

"Erm... How is Caroline?"

Valerie's face brightened. "Oh she's just fine. The transferal is going wonderfully. If we're lucky, it'll be done by the end of the week."

"That's brilliant," I said.

"Yeah. She's doing great... There are slots open if you still want to..."

I nodded. "Yes. Right. Well I still don't know if I want to. But... figuring things out."

"Well... if you ever need help, I get off at 4:30 on weekdays and 3:00 on weekends. If you want, we could get together and work on the details of your decision."

Chell tugged on my sleeve. "Uncle Wheatley? Could we go now?"

"Hm? Oh yes. Of course. Goodbye Valerie."

"Goodbye," she replied as I stepped into the elevator. "Oh and I gave you my number for a reason," she added, "Call me." She made the phone signal with her hand as she shrank out of view.

I chuckled to myself, but Chell looked most displeased. "Who was that?" she asked.

"Just someone I met the other day."

"When you forgot to pick me up? Because you were on a date?"

My face reddened. "It wasn't a date. We just had coffee!"

"Oh grow up, Uncle Wheatley. That's what all adults call a date."

My face reddened further.


	5. And sometimes I may be selfish

"Ding dong," rang my doorbell.

I wasn't expecting company, so I ignored it.

"Ding dong, ding dong," it rang more persistently. 'Knock knock knock knock'.

"Nobody's home," I wanted to shout.

"Open the door, Wheatley. I know you're home," shouted Valerie.

I sighed, then strode over to the door.

She swung it open before I could lay a finger on the doorknob. "Hello!" she said cheerfully marching into my apartment without invitation.

"Um... hi?"

She spun around to face me. "I just had a major breakthrough," she sang, flipping through her clipboard.

"Uh, okay? Listen, now really isn't the time. I've got to pick up Chell from school and-"

She waved her hand impatiently. "This will only take a minute, I promise."

I sighed in defeat. "Alright. What is it? And don't think you can do this all the time, okay?"

She smiled brightly. "Good. Now, are you going to join Project Android?"

"I've told you, I don't know!"

"Why not? Are you nervous?"

"If this is for some science project, I'm not in the mood and I don't have the time."

"Please, Wheatley. This could be very important. And not just for me, for you! Especially for you. This has everything to do with you."

I sighed again. She looked sincere enough. "Yes," I answered, "I'm terrified that something could go wrong or something about me might change. I mean, I'll be turned into a robot for God's sakes! Who knows what might go wrong! What if something does happen and I'm not there to take care of Chell?"

Valerie patted my arm sympathetically. "Of course. I understand. But I might have the solution to that problem. The uncertainty, that is."

I tilted my head. "How?"

She unclipped several pieces of paper and handed them to me. "Those, are the layout plans for Project Android. A copy of them. Not only are they the circuit patterns for the inside of the android, they also show how they connect to the body and different types of ports. Isn't that amazing?"

I traced my fingers over the wire patterns. "Yes, it is. But how does this solve my problem?"

She excitedly thumbed through the papers. "We have everything we need. My brother was an electrical engineer. We could test run Project Android."

I held up my hands. "Whoa whoa. Slow down. We're not test running anything."

She slowed down and her smile faded. "Why not?"

A million excuses ran through my mind. "Because... because, well... um..."

"YOU don't have to do it!" she said quickly, "But I want you to be there. It'll be perfectly safe. I just want you to seize this opportunity. I don't want you to be scared."

"I'm not scared!"

"I want you to do this!"

I scowled. "Why?"

"Because it's a brilliant opportunity. And what kind of scientist doesn't like a project?"

"I- I...I... What about the company? I don't think Mr. Johnson would-"

"Mr. Johnson is dead," Valerie said flatly.

My jabbering stopped. "He- he's what?"

"He contracted a deadly disease and died not much too later. He left Aperture to Caroline."

My mouth was gapping in shock. "Dead?!"

"Yes," she said seriously.

I ran my fingers through my blonde hair. "I spoke with him less than a week ago," I sighed.

"It was quite sudden."

I put my face in my hands. My mind was having difficulties retaining the information. The head of Aperture was dead! And a non-functioning robot was running it now!

I rose my eyes back to Valerie's. She looked as upset as I felt. "So..." I said, "Test running an Aperture project, then?"

She nodded slowly.

"Is that illegal?"

She shrugged. "Might be."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. It was so risky. But she was right. It sounded exciting.

I looked up. "Alright then. Let's do it."

A grin spread across her face. "Okay!"

She looked, almost proudly, up into my eyes. I smiled back down at her.

"So, erm... When do we start?"

"Oh!" She pulled out her clipboard again. "Well, to correct my previous statement, we ALMOST have everything we need. Unfortunately, we're missing a pretty important piece."

"What's that?" I asked, taking her coat and guiding her into my small dining room.

"A design. For the bot. Due to our budget of zero dollars, we can't afford to build a full scale android. In light of that fact, we need a new design for the robot that we're going to make."

"Hm. Well I'm not designer. We might have to seek outside help. Coffee?"

She laughed. "Sure. We need a very simple form sketch. I contacted a friend of mine, but she said all of the sketches I made were incompatible. I'm not sure WHY, but I trust her word."

"A simple, but complicated sketch of a small robot. How do you get that sort of thing?" I poured two cups of coffee. "What sort of pattern is she- Ah!"

She was standing right behind me when I turned around. I almost spilled the coffee. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I was just admiring your fridge artwork."

I chuckled as I handed her a cup. "It's not mine, you know."

"Of course it's not. I assume these belong to the lovely girl that you brought into my work sight last week?"

"They do," I said with a smile.

"How are you related to her?" she asked, running her fingers over a drawing of me.

"I'm not. She's just a friend of mine. I take care of her. I can't tell you the amount of times she come here over the weekends."

She smiled faintly. "That must be nice." Her brow suddenly furrowed. "What's this?" She pulled the newest drawing from its magnet and studied it.

"That's my newest addition. Chell drew it just before I came down to see you last week. It's nice isn't it?"

Her expression was spreading into utter joy. "Wheatley, look at this!" She turned the page around. "This might be exactly what we're looking for! A spherical robot with a single large optic and two access ports on its sides... This is what we need!"

"Is it?" My face brightened. "That's brilliant! Chell will be happy to hear it. Speaking of which, I have to pick her up about twenty minutes. Her dad's being held up at the office." I checked my watch.

Valerie grabbed my arm. "You can't tell her."

"Why not?"

"We can't risk her telling anyone and getting us in trouble. Let's just keep it hushed up for now, alright?"

I hesitated, then nodded. "Alright. You're right."

She sipped from her cup and walked into my entrance. I followed. "I have a few minutes. Now that we have everything we need, how do you start?"

She smirked. "I'm glad you asked," she said.

...

"Yeah Cate, I'm just working on something. For the lab, yeah. A friend. No... Yes. I have to let you go. No, you can't talk to him about it. Yeah... Stop. No, stop it. Yes. Thank you. Love you. Bye."

Valerie snapped her phone shut, frustratedly. "Sorry," she said, "Just had to confirm the drawing with a friend of mine."

"Not a problem. But do you mind slowing down. I'm getting a bit car sick."

She swung violently around a curve. "Sorry, boss. No can do. I'd like to get there as soon as possible. Just hold on tight." Her speedometer read 65, even though the speed limit was 40.

"We're going to get pulled over and be twice as late. Just slow up to a 50, at least."

"Don't worry about police officers. The cops around here wouldn't notice if you waved a doughnut in front of their noses. They won't notice a speeding car. I do this ALL the time."

I clenched my stomach. Apparently motion sickness was not in her vocabulary. Thankfully, I was quickly relieved of my death trap ride when she pulled sharply up to a quaint brick house.

'Beep beep' Her vehicle locked behind us.

"I don't quite understand," I said, stumbling up behind her, "What are we doing here? Where are we?"

"This is my brother's house," she said, stopping at the door and pulling out her keys, "As you can tell, big bro made a bit more dough than I."

"But what are we doing here? Do we need something from him?"

She didn't answer, but swung open the door and shouted, "I'm home. Did you miss me?"

A groan sounded from the adjacent room. "Go away, we don't want any!"

"Don't be like that, Jason," Valerie scolded.

A leather clad man, who could only be described as a biker, clumped around the corner. The scowl plastered across his lips slowly faded.

"Hey sis," he said, "How're you?" He planted a kiss on her check, then eyed me. "So," he said, "This is the new boyfriend, huh?"

"Boy- boyfriend?" I sputtered.

"Gotta say, sis, not impressed. He looks like a twig. I mean what does he eat, bird seed?"

"What? A-a twig?"

"And British?!" He turned to Valerie. "You are a disgrace to this family," he said in the most sincere, joking voice.

"Stuff it," she said, shoving the clipboard into his chest.

Jason chuckled, flipping through the paperwork.

Val shot me an apologetic smile. I was still flabbergasted by the man's behavior.

He grunted. "Isn't this illegal?"

His sister shrugged. "Well, strictly speaking. But you've never exactly played by the rules, now have you?"

"You want to use the old lab, huh?"

"Yep."

He looked between the two of us, then half shrugged. "Yeah sure. So long as you two aren't making out down there, have at it."

Valerie smiled and hugged her brother. "Thanks, Jas. Come on Wheatley."

"Thank you so much, sir," I said, as I passed him.

He stiffened. "Yeah yeah. Get lost ya British bird-brain." Needless to, say I quickened my pace.

"Sorry about him," Valerie apologized, "He's never been the best with manners."

"It's fine, really. Where exactly are we going?"

"To the secret lab," she said, opening a pair of double doors. They lead into the library.

"Hate to break it to you, love. But this is a library."

She rolled her eyes. "No no. This isn't the secret lab. This would suck at being a lab."

She ran to the back of the room and grabbed hold of one of the bookshelves. When she pulled it hard enough, it moved away from the wall to show a passage. "Come on," she said, waving me in.

It was dark and damp, but the passage quickly opened into a room.

Valerie yanked down a lever on the wall and lights flashed on all around the room. It was a scientist's dream come true. Granted I was not a real scientist, but I was close enough to know the measure of how great that room was.

"I'm guessing there's a story behind this," I said.

"Oh yeah," Val said with a short nod, "This house used to be my family's house. My dad was this great science guy and he wanted to make sure me and my brother were the same. He built this secret room for us. It was great to play in. I've got some nice memories from this room. But the most important thing about it now is that it has the equipment that we need."

She gestured to a huge pile of scrap metal off to one side. "My brother liked to build things, so would collect metal from just about anything and store it up here. We can use that for the exterior of the bot."

I took out Chell's drawing. "We'll need glass for the eye, wires for the inside... Where are we going to get all of this stuff?"

"Jason has a lot of pieces stashed away. And whatever he doesn't have, my friend Caitlin said she could supply."

"So we are actually going to do this?" I asked.

"I want to. Unless you're having second thoughts..." She twiddled her thumbs nervously.

I looked around the dim room. This could be the biggest opportunity of my life. I couldn't get nervous now; I couldn't back out.

I nodded firmly. "Let's do this."

...

"Now, we'll need to work carefully on these ports. We won't be plugging it into anything, but we don't want anything going wrong."

"The optic has to be fully functional, how does that work?"

"Much like the human brain. Everything should connect through the central chip. Or piece. I'm not sure what the brain will be." She laughed nervously. "Probably should have thoughts these things out before-"

My phone buzzed.

"Do you need to take that?" Valerie asked.

I shook my head. "Continue."

"Humans have five senses, but robots should only have three and those three senses should all connect to aid each other. We need this robot to be able to hear, see, and speak. Moving is optional since this robot does not have feet. But that's why it's a simple test. No unnecessary complications."

My phone buzzed again.

"Are you sure you don't need to take that?"

"Positive," I replied, switching my phone to silent, "Please. Let's keep working."

"Okay... Building the robot won't be too much of a problem. The problem will be connecting a human to it. You can't just hook it up and it'll all be cool. These things take time."

"I have time," I said, feeling my phone buzz once more.

"But Project Android starts soon. We have about a month."

"Can we do this in a month?"

"If you're up for the challenge, then we can surely try."

"Alright." My phone buzzed again. "Argh. I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid this phone is going to drive me mad if I don't answer it. Excuse me."

"No problem."

I walked out of the lab and into the library, then checked my phone. Five misses calls from Chell. One voice mail. Six messages.

I sighed and checked the voice mail. "Hey Uncle Wheatley," her voice sounded flat, "I was just checking up to make sure nothing terribly horrific happened to you. Ya know, since you left me at school all day. I hope you're alright. And if you are, I wish you weren't. Bye."

I had, hadn't I? I had forgotten her. I left her at school ALL day because... Well, because I was working on something incredibly important.

I punched in her number and waited...and waited...and waited.

I was afraid the dial tone was going to end, but on the last ring, she picked up. "Hi," she said.

"Hello! How are you?"

"Do you want me to answer that honestly, or nicely?" She sounded very angry.

"Listen love. I'm very sorry I forgot to pick you up. I promise it won't happen again."

"But that's the problem! It already has happened before and you promised me then that it wouldn't happen again. And yet here we are."

"I'm sorry, Chell! What more do you want?"

"I'm don't know. Something sincere?"

"I. Am. Sorry. I was working on something very important. I-"

"Important? Even more important than me?"

My patience snapped. "Yes! Something more important than you! I'm sorry you can't be the center of my universe, but somethings change, alright?!"

There was silence on her end.

I sighed. "Love, I'm sorr-"

"It's fine. Don't apologize. I'll just walk home from school from now on. Bye."

"Wait. I-"

'Beep' She was gone.

"That was incredibly selfish of me," I said into the phone, "And I'm sorry. Can't I be forgiven? ...please?"

The silence in the room was deafening.


	6. But know that I will always love you

"Yes that's great. Listen Val, I've got to go," I said.

"Now? My ideas are still flowing though!"

"Then get a pen and paper because I've really got to go."

"Alright, alright. I got it. I'll talk to you later, then."

"Yes. Goodbye, Val."

"Goodbye, Wheaters."

I could practically hear her grinning over my stupid nickname. 'Click' I shoved my phone back into my pocket and straightened my tie.

It was 3:30. I was sitting under a pine tree in front of a elementary school, wringing my hands, anxiously.

Chell's final class would be letting out in minutes. I was so nervous, but I knew what I had to do. And I HAD to do it. This little girl was my one true friend and I couldn't let her go. Not for Valerie, not for my job, and not for Project Android. Not for anything.

A faint ringing sounded from the inside of the building. Any minute now.

A flood of children came out of the front doors. My eyes quickly scanned the crowd.

There she was. A little black head bobbing through the children.

"Chell," I called out.

She heard me, but she didn't look over.

"Chell, please come over here," I called a little louder.

She glanced briefly at me, then turned away again.

I weaved my way through the kids and walked behind her. "Please don't ignore me."

"I'm sorry, I just don't want to talk right now." She sounded morose.

I quickened my pace and knelt down in front of her. "Please don't go, love. I just want to tell you something."

She looked away.

I took her hands in mine. "I'm sorry for what I said. You ARE important to me. More important than Valerie, more important than my job, than anything. I can't do it without you. I said you were my only friend and I meant it! I don't want to lose you."

She finally looked at me. Her eyes were red and puffy, like she had been crying. "I know you're sorry. I shouldn't have been so rude to you. I can't make it without you either... It's just that..." She sniffed.

"What's the matter?"

Tears tolled from her eyes. "Oh, Uncle Wheatley. I missed you."

"No no. Shh... It's okay now, love."

She fell into my arms and I held her tight. I wasn't ever going to let go again. I strung the little yellow rose behind her ear. "I love you Chell."

She nodded and sniffed again.

"And I'll always love you. Remember that."

"I love you too Uncle Wheatley," she said.

I straightened up and wiped the tears off her face. "Ready to go home, love?"

She shook her head.

"No? Then we'll go to my place. Have dinner. And work on your project! How are the potatoes coming?"

A faint smile came across her face. "I think I need your help."

"Well, say no more. Help you shall have." I stood up, grabbed her arm, and swung her onto my back. "Let's go then. Hup."

We started down the sidewalk.

A black Ferrari drove up next to us and honked it's horn. The window rolled down and Valerie took off her sunglasses. "You look a little tired. You guys need a ride?"

I looked up at Chell and she nodded. "Yes please."

...

"I think I'm going to change my project," announced Chell.

"Really? Why's that?"

"I want to do a poster board on the energy of the future. And someone else is doing potato batteries. FORTY of them."

I glanced at Valerie and shrugged. "Alright. It's your project. I'll be right back. I'm pretty sure I have a poster board around here somewhere." I shifted from my seat and left the room.

"Okay," said Chell, continuing to draw.

I stumbled through the clutter of my main room. For most people, it would be difficult to find anything, but that was the way I liked it. If I could maneuver around and find things, it didn't matter how messy it got.

"Hey," said Valerie from the doorway.

"Hello. Ah!" I slipped into the pile of papers and items that I couldn't quite count. "Ouch."

"Are you alright?" She grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the clutter.

"I'm fine," I said. I struggled up and continued my search.

"You seem to have made things right by Chell. What did you say?"

I smiled. "I told her the truth. That I was absolutely, sincerely sorry. That I was so terrible. And... that I was genuinely sorry. It was simple and I'm glad it was. That girl is everything to me and I can't bear to lose her." I straightened up to scan the room from afar.

Valerie put her hand on my shoulder and looked around with me. "I think I see it," she said, leaning across me.

"Do be careful. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"It's fine. I've almost got it."

I watched her nervously as she stepped onto a box and reached way over into a corner of the room. Her fingers scraped at the edge of it. "Almost," she called back.

The box caved in and she pitched forward.

I threw one arm around her and pulled her towards me before she fell. She clamped both hands on me, one on my jacket sleeve and the other on my hair.

I winced. She panted in fear. "Look love," I said, "I'm glad that you're alright, but could you please let go of my hair?"

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. She wrapped her around my neck and buried her face in the crook of my neck. Then she started laughing. "I'm so sorry," she said again.

Eventually I started laughing too. "It's perfectly fine. Really. As long as you're alright."

"A-hem," said Chell, almost sarcastically. She was standing in the doorway, hands on hips and a smirk on her face. "Well just kiss her then," she said, putting her hands over her eyes, "I won't look."

I laughed, but Valerie laughed louder and pressed her lips to the side of my face.

I quickly pulled back and looked away, feeling my cheeks burn.

Valerie was not in the least bit fazed. "Listen," she said, "Let's go to my brother's house. There's plenty more room. She can work on her poster board in a more open environment and we can work downstairs. Okay?"

"That sounds okay," Chell said, hands still covering her eyes.

"Yeah, sure," I mumbled, with my face still red hot.

...

I made sure that Chell buckled up tight before we took off, remembering Valerie's insane driving from last time.

Sure enough, the moment she turns the car on, she took off down the road at 70 MPH. "Come on, Val," I said, "There's a child in the car. Couldn't you just slow up a bit?"

"Ha! Not a chance. And if you think this is crazy driving, you'd have a heart attack with my brother at the wheel. This is actually his car, he let's me borrow it sometimes. It's one of the reasons I'm not afraid to go fast- WATCH WHERE YOU'RE DRIVING! Sorry. He drives so fast, it's a miracle that he doesn't crash in the first minute. So I figure if this car can survive his insanity, it'll be fine with me."

The tires screeched as she pulled sharply into the driveway. "Here we are. Calm down."

I stepped, shakily, out of the vehicle and helped Chell out of the backseat. Rather than appearing frightened, she looked excited. "Let's do that again," she giggled.

"Maybe later. Upsie daisy," I said, swinging her onto my back.

"You'd think after carrying that child around everywhere, you might have some sort of muscle density," Valerie said. She knocked on the door before I could reply. "Jas? Are you home?"

We waited.

There was no answer. "He's probably out at that bar of his," she scowled, knocking harder, "Jas?!"

We waited a few more minutes.

A motorcycle rumbled up to the sidewalk. Jason jumped off and swept off his helmet. "Trying to break in, are we?" he smirked, "This would happen to be the reason I took the key from you." He took out his key ring. "I'm glad you're here," he said, "I've been meaning to call you. Come on then. We'll sit in the living room and talk about it. I fix up a few drinks."

Valerie cleared her throat and gestured to Chell.

"Or I won't. You know, we don't need drinks." He chuckled nervously, then swung open the door.

We stepped into the entryway. Jason tossed his keys onto the foyer table. "Step into my living room and we'll chat," he said.

As we walked into the den, I noticed a patch with a name on it sewn onto the arm of his leather jacket. "Rick," I said.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Hm?"

I pointed to the name. "Your jacket says Rick."

"Yes it does. That's an old nickname of mine... And my dad's name."

We settled into the plush sofa, which would be more appropriately named a chair. I was practically on top of Valerie and Chell was perched on the arm.

Jason opened a mini fridge underneath one of the coffee table and cracked open a can of beer. "So," he said, "I've been wanting to talk to the two of you. Val's been telling me all about this...this... Project Android." He sighed and plopped down in the chair across from ours. "I think... I want to join."

I felt Valerie shift forward. "Really?"

Her brother nodded. "You know I've always been one for... new adventures. I think something like this might be just what my bored mind needs."

"You want to become an android?" Valerie asked, still sounding unsure.

"Hey. I'm not one for science. But if it involves robots, count me in. This could be awesome."

Valerie jumped to her feet, pushing me up with her. "That's wonderful!" She threw her arms around him for an endearing hug.

I shook him hand awkwardly. After being called 'bird brain' and 'twiggy' I wasn't sure what to say to the ex-engineer.

Congratulations? Good luck? Everything that he needed, I needed even more.

We all turned back to Chell who was doodling on a piece of paper. "Oh no. Don't mind me," she said, sweetly, "I've already heard about Project Android from my dad anyway. I'm glad that he's going to join. They could use more people."

"Your dad told you about Project Android?" I asked.

"Sort of. I kind of overheard him yelling about it over the phone."

"Was he that excited?" Valerie chuckled.

Chell shook her head gravely. "No. Not at all. My dad hates the idea. He thinks that having a robot control an entire facility is a terrible idea. He's scared that something will go wrong."

A nerve-wreaking silence seized my voice. I had never considered those risks. I never even told Chell that I wanted to join. That soon, I might be an android too.

Valerie cleared her throat. "Well anyway. Want to head downstairs?" she asked me.

"Sure."

"Jas, do you mind keeping an eye on Chell? She's just going to be working on her poster board."

Jason barely answered before Valerie had grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the library. "Love you Chell!" I called behind me.

"Love you too Uncle Wheatley." I heard her call back.


	7. In my heart of hearts

"Alright, what's the big surprise?" I asked.

Chell and I were alone at her house to work on her science project. All that day at the office, she had been teasing me about some big surprise that she had for me.

She grabbed my hand and dragged me through the house to the dining room and threw her bag onto the table. "Okay, I'm going to switch back to potato batteries. It was a very good idea."

"You can't just keep switching off like that, Chell."

"I know, I know. But I've got it figured out now. Remember how I said my potatoes weren't big enough?"

I nodded.

"Well... don't tell anyone I said this, but my dad has been running some experiments that I think are illegal."

"Hm." I was confused. "Isn't your dad a programmer? Didn't he help develop the android brains?"

She shrugged. "No. But he helped develop the 'Handheld Portal Gun'. Whatever that is."

At this point she leaned over to me and whispered, "He's been running different kinds of experiments. Swiping things from the lab, testing things that shouldn't be tested. At least not by him."

She straighted up and spoke in a normal tone. "So, I took something from him that I think is going to help us." She started digging around in her bag.

"Wait, wait, wait. You stole from the lab?"

"No! My dad stole from the lab and then I'd stole from him. Technically it's not stealing if the thing didn't belong to that person in the first place."

"Technically, we're dead!" I snatched the vial out of her hands before she could even show it to me. "This- this is dangerous. We should NOT have this. Here, ever, anywhere! We- we have to put it back. What does it even DO?!"

"It's a growing serum," she sighed, "Look!" She shoved her arms into her bag again and slammed a potato the size of my head onto the table.

"Woah," was all I managed to say.

"I grew it in a day," she snapped.

After a few minutes of staring in disbelief, I shook my head. This is much too dangerous for you to be playing around with."

"You promised to help me with my science project," she said.

"I-"

"You PROMISED." She looked deadly serious...and desperate.

"I just don't think that-"

"You're not going to tell my dad, are you?" She looked worried now.

I sighed. "No. No of course not. I won't tell your dad."

"Then are you going to help me, or leave me again?"

I sighed again. I knew what she was doing. She was trying to guilt trip me.

And unfortunately, it was working. "Of course I'm going to help you, love," I said, "I made a promise."

Her face brightened. "Great! Let's get to work then!"

What was I getting myself into?

...

"It looks brilliant, Valerie," I said.

A round metal shell was resting on the table.

"Thanks. Jas stayed up with me till three in the morning making that," she replied. She sounded as tired as she looked. "It's just a shell, but it's a start."

I picked it up. It was very light, but it was incredibly detailed.

"So," Valerie said, jumping up from her chair, "I was thinking today, we'll finish up the internal wiring. The one problem I'm stuck on is how to attach the bot to the person."

"You haven't figured that out yet?"

She shook her head.

"That's the most important part though."

"Yes, I know that!"

I stepped back and lowered my eyes.

"Sorry," she apologized, "I'm just grouchy. I need coffee. Here." She handed me a sheet of paper. "That's the layout for the wires. I just need you to organize them so that later we can just hook them up with any confusion. Can you do that?"

"I can certainly try. Go get some rest. I'll do what I can."

She walked slowly up the stairs, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

"She works herself too hard," I said, scanning the paper she gave me, "What on earth even is this? She must be mad to think I could understand something like this." I paused. "Of course I am talking to myself, so I suppose I outdo her madness... And I'm still doing it."

I sat in front of the wires and studied the paper a bit closer. "Well I suppose it's rather simple. This must be...hm... yes. I believe... Just a bit tangled in here, yes?"

I started to untangle the mass of cords. "That looks better...or worse. Ah well. What's the worst that could happen? Blue over here, red here. Erm... Yes. Problematic. Nothing to worry about...um..."

My hand was caught in the clutter of wires. "Er... Well that's one hand trapped. Possibly the reason I have two."

The more I twisted and tugged, the worse the knot became. "Hrm... yes that's um... Yeah. Uh... Well, this could be worse."

"Wheatley? What are you doing?"

I turned, a little too quickly and heard a small zap. A sharp pain drove through my hand. My whole body twitched violently and I could hear the buzz of electricity loudly in my ears.

Valerie dove toward me and pulled my hand out.

The pain stopped, but my hand was smoking faintly. My chest was tight and jittery. I coughed and saw a small puff of smoke rise from my mouth.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Peachy," I choked.

"I'm so sorry. I forgot to tell you to unplug it first. I was test running them last night." She handed me a rag to wipe my face with.

My hands were still shaking.

"At least now you know what it feels like to be full of energy," she said, half jokingly.

I tried to laugh, but it came out sounding maniacal.

We worked in silence for a few minutes. The wires were proving to be quite frustrating.

I needed to talk. "Chell changed her project back to the potato batteries."

"Again?" Valerie said with a chuckle, "How come?"

I panicked slightly and blurted out Chell's fake excuse. "Someone at the cafeteria ordered too many potatoes. Gotta find some use for them. That's why that one girl is using forty of them. Too many potatoes. She was a bit upset, since she did potato batteries for another science project last year."

She looked a little unsure, but she didn't question me. She reached a hand over to a side table and flicked on the radio. A jazz song waved through the speakers.

I gently tapped my foot to the beat. Unfortunately, even though I relaxed, the wires remained just as complicated.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Need any help?" Valerie asked, popping up next to me.

"No no. Just a bit... vague on the details. Not to mention a little tangled."

"Well, that's the point of the work. The tangle isn't too bad from a certain perspective."

I chuckled slightly, then gasped. Her hands were sliding down my arms to my hands. "Look," she said, "Come over this way. And twist." She was moving my hands for me.

I tried to focus on what she was saying, but her warm breath was hitting my neck and my face was red hot.

"Erm...yes. This one...goes..." I slowly turned to look at her. My mouth went numb.

"Come on. Pay attention," she said teasingly.

My tongue lolled around uselessly in my mouth. I couldn't speak. Her face was so close to mine.

The music playing on the radio was suddenly overwhelmingly loud.

Valerie's smile was piercing my focus.

I wasn't entirely sure what I was doing anymore. One of my arms wrapped around her waist and the other grabbed her hand.

She laughed and started to sway with me. After her long working hours, she deserved to relax.

I didn't exactly know how to dance, but what we were doing wasn't really dancing. We swayed back and forth to the quiet music of that dark, dank room.

My hand was still blackened and my heartbeat was thrumming violently against my chest. Valerie could feel it. Her head was resting just over my heart.

"What are we doing, Wheatley?" she said, almost slyly.

"Erm...dancing?"

She hummed.

"Could I say something, love? Just a quick thing."

"As long as it's quick."

"I just wanted... to thank you. For what you've done for me. You've worked out so many problems and issues, just to help me. So thank you."

She smiled.

"Also, why?"

"Huh?"

"Why did you do all of this? You didn't even really know me. But you helped. Why would you go through all of this for me?"

She laughed loudly. "You are absolutely clueless, aren't you?"

I stuttered. What did she mean? I wasn't that clueless. Really. I could be smart when I wanted to. "I really don't-"

She grabbed my tie and yanked me down to her eye level.

Then she kissed me.

I felt like I was being electrocuted again. My ears buzzed and fireworks went off in my head. My chest tightened and jumped. I felt like I was flying and drowning at the same time.

Valerie's hands grabbed my face. I wasn't sure what to do.

After the initial shock wore off, I pulled away.

Valerie giggled nervously and straightened my tie.

"I said no making out down there!" Jason shouted from the library. Heavens know how he knew.

I cleared my throat and brushed my hair back. "I, um..."

Her face brightened. "I just realized how the external wiring works." She turned away, almost embarrassed and started furiously untangling the wires.

"Uh...yes. I have to...call...Chell." I cleared my throat again and practically ran up the stairs. In the reflection that my phone's screen offered, my face was nearly purple.

I was barely aware of the dial tone ringing in my ear.

"Hello?" sang Chell's voice.

"Hello! How're you?"

"Hi Uncle Wheatley."

"Hey. I was just wondering if-"

"Uncle Wheatley, could you come over?" she interrupted.

"I- What?"

"I need to talk to you. Can you come over?"

"W- Well sure! What's the matter?"

She sighed. "I can't say right now. Could you just come?"

"On my way, love. Hang tight."

...

"Hello? I'm here. Is anyone home?" I hung my jacket on the coat rack. "Chell?"

"I'm in here, Uncle Wheatley."

I ran into the dining room where her voice echoed from.

Nothing seemed to be wrong. She was sitting at the table, with a wired up potato resting in front of her. She didn't look sick or scared or hurt.

"What's the matter? Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?" I blubbered, in my panic.

"No," she replied with a smile, "I'm okay. I just wanted you to be here when I test my experiment for the first time."

"Oh." My heart rate slowed. "Oh, alright then."

"You see, the potato I'm going to use for my real experiment is fresh, but this one is pretty old. I'm just running through some things before I finish up my poster board. I bet if we tried, we could power the world with potatoes."

I sighed and fell into a chair. "Yeah, if course. Whatever you want to do, I can help you with." I was just glad it wasn't a real emergency.

Her expression suddenly became grave. "But there's something I need to tell you," she said.

"Another secret?"

She shook her head. "No. Different from the last one. Worse."

"Oh. Okay. Well, go ahead then. I'm listening."

"Okay...but you can't tell anyone."

"I won't. Cross my heart and everything."

She leaned WAY in close to me. "My dad said not to tell anyone. But he's been exploring the facility. The test chambers. He says something's wrong and he's supposed to figure it out. He says he can't though. That he's not young and strong enough."

"Well that's good. Wouldn't want him running around where he shouldn't be, yeah?" I had a strong feeling that the bad news hadn't come yet.

Chell looked very serious. "He says he wants to enter me into the list of young test subjects."

It took a moment for the realization to settle in. "...WHAT?! That's positively mad!"

"Please don't shout, Uncle Wheatley," she said, "I'm scared too."

I stopped and looked into her big blue eyes. Tears were threatening to spill over.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. "You don't have to be scared," I said, "I'm here for you. And I won't ever let you go."

"He put my name in," she whispered, "It's too late for take backs. I'm going to start next month."

I held her tighter. "Don't worry. We'll see each other. It's all going to be okay."

"He wants me to figure out the secrets of the testing facilities." She sounded terrified.

"Don't worry. It's not a bad thing to feel scared. It's just human nature. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I'm going to protect you. I promise."

The moment I had shared with Valerie less than an hour ago, was nothing compared to what I was promising this girl now.

I had made a promise.

And I wasn't going to break anymore promises to this girl.


	8. You are my all

"Uncle Wheatley."

I could faintly hear someone speaking.

"Wake up, Uncle Wheatley."

"Hhhmmmmm?" I slowly opened my eyes. Chell was staring right back at me.

Surprised, I leaned to the side and felt myself slide. I yelped and my chair crashed over onto the ground.

"Are you okay?" Chell helped me to my feet.

"Fine. Just fine."

"You fell asleep again," she said, worriedly.

"It's fine. I'm just a bit tired. Let me finish up here and we can go home."

In truth, I was more than just a bit tired. For the past two nights, I had stayed up till goodness knows how late, working on that darn robot with Valerie.

How she had ever talked me into such a maddening feat, I had no idea. Project Android was three days away. How were we ever going to finish in time?

"You look really tired," said Chell, "Do you want to go home?"

"Five more minutes. Then we'll go." I returned to typing away at my computer.

Again, I wasn't entirely sure what I was writing; I just did what I was told to do. But it seemed to be some sort of letter to Black Mesa...

'Wannabe' started blaring from my cellphone, echoing off the metal walls and causing several coworkers to stare.

I quickly snatched my phone up and switched it to silent. "Sorry," I said, "Friend got ahold of my phone." I flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Okay, okay," said Valerie's voice through the speaker, "I have to say something really important, but first I have to ask: How many people are staring at you right now?"

"Just about everyone in the room. My volume was up all the way."

She laughed so loudly that I had to move the phone away from my ear to save my hearing.

"Yes, haha," I said mockingly. What do you need?"

"Okay..." Her laughing stopped abruptly. "I need to you to come over. Right now."

"I can't. I'm in work. How are you not?"

"It doesn't matter! I need you NOW. Get over here, fast as you can. Okay? Comprende?"

"Val, I can't just-"

"NOW!" 'Click' She hung up.

I scowled at my phone. "This woman is going to drive me mad," I said, "Alright Chell. Come on. We're going to Aunt Valerie's."

"Nice try, but she doesn't get a special nickname," she replied, throwing on her jacket.

"Haha, put your shoes on."

...

I ran through Jason's unlocked front door and down the hall to the library, lab coat billowing behind me. I raced down the steps and into the secret lab. "Valerie! What's the matter?...oh. Wow."

She was sitting in her chair just in front of the work table that proudly displayed a completed metal sphere. The eye was closed.

"Val its... It's wonderful."

"I just finished the external wiring," she said proudly.

"That's incredible."

"It's more than incredible!" she exclaimed, "Do you even know what that means?!" She looked ready to explode from excitement.

"Well it, um... It means that- Do you- I mean..."

"It means we can test run Project Android. Right here. Right now."

I didn't know what to say.

"Aren't you excited?!" she squealed.

I felt my face grow pink as she grabbed my hand and dragged me closer to the table. "Valerie that's... That'd brilliant. I can't even express you to how great this is...but I'm scared."

"You don't have to be scared. I'm right here next to you." She put her arm through mine.

I ran a hand over the top handle of the robot. "You did a wonderful job. He looks just like Chell's drawing."

"WE. We did a wonderful job. You certainly helped on this. Now. What should we call him?"

I shrugged. "Chell didn't want to name him. I certainly don't know."

"Hmm... We'll call him... Wheatley 2.0."

"Oh no. Am I being replaced so quickly?" I chuckled.

She laughed and rested her head against my arm. "No one could replace you." Then she jumped away and clapped her hands together. "So! Are you ready, Mr. Wheatley?"

"Yes Dr. Valerie, I do believe I am."

"Good. Sit yourself down in that chair and we'll get started."

She turned away, but I grabbed her hand before she could move. "I just wanted to say, again, thank you for this. Even if I don't join Project Android after this, thank you for doing this with me. It's been a lot of fun."

She smiled. "Yes, it certainly has. Now go sit down."

I turned around to the reclined chair in the back of the room. Just as I had with her, Valerie grabbed my arm before I took two steps.

I thought for sure she would say something, but instead she whipped out a syringe and plunged it into my arm. "Gah! What the hell, woman?!" I shouted as the sharp pain drove up to my shoulder.

"I'm sorry! I had to do it when you weren't expecting it. This procedure is going to hurt so I gave you an anesthetic." She pressed a bandaid over it and I winced.

"You are positively, one hundred percent mad," I said.

"I know. Now sit down."

I settled nervously down into the chair. "So..."

"You may want to shut your eyes," she said, holding up IV lines.

I squeezed them shut, but I could still feel the cold pierce in the crease of my elbow.

My mind was spinning. What was I doing? Was I crazy?

I watched Valerie move away and pull out more cables and wires.

Yes, I was crazy. I was crazy for this girl. Something about her made me want to do something insane.

She made her way behind my chair, holding some dangerous looking contraption. "Now, I'd like to apologize in advance for this. It's going to hurt. And also... I need you to take off your shirt."

"Erm, right. Okay." I unbuttoned my Aperture insignia-ed shirt and dropped it onto the ground.

"Lean back." Valerie sounded as nervous as I felt. "Just hold as still as you can. It's going to hurt."

I exhaled and closed my eyes.

There was nothing for about a minute and then, "Ow."

It was just a little prick. It felt worse than it really was, but after a second the pain was gone.

I sighed. "Well that wasn't so- AH!"

Something sharp, thin, and cold dug into my back and clamped around my spine. A loud, lasting scream escaped my mouth. The pain was blinding. My ears would take in sound anymore. Pressure was building in my temples. I couldn't move, or breathe.

Then it stopped.

My breaths were quick and painful. I felt so strange. Like I was floating in a dreamy state.

"Wheatley?" whispered Valerie.

Something whirred in my ear and my eyes opened. "Oh...my head hurts," I groaned.

She gasped loudly. "Oh my gosh. Wheatley?"

Things were whirring all around my head. I tried to shift my position, but my body was locked into place. "A- Ah. I can't... move."

Valerie stood in front of me. "Wheatley," she sighed, "Wheatley it... it worked."

"What?" The whirring returned every time I focused on something. 'Click click' I could hear something moving over my head.

Valerie picked up a mirror and showed it to me. I couldn't help but gasp.

I wasn't me anymore. I was round and metal and my eye was a deep blue light. "I...I... It worked," I said.

Tears were pouring down Valerie's face. She jumped toward the table and wrapped her arms around my little metal frame.

I laughed and I could hear her laughing and crying in joy. "It worked," she kept saying, "We did it. It worked."

She finally pulled away, wiping her eyes. "You just look so... Oh my gosh. I cannot believe we did this. I can- I could pick you up. To see the room. Or we could... Oh my..."

"No no," I said, "No thank you. I feel a little sick now. Do you- do you think we could call it quits? This is exciting and all, but..."

"Oh of course. Yeah. I'll disconnect. But tell me really quick, how do you feel?"

I looked all round the room, hearing the whirring of mechanisms in my head, and saw my own body, lying on the reclining chair. "Different," I stuttered, "Um...I uh, I feel... Great actually. Brilliant."

She scribbled down on her notepad. "And are you experiencing any pain or discomfort?"

"To tell you the truth, I can't feel a thing."

She finished her notes with a flourish and a smile. "Okay. I'm going to unplug you now. Hold tight."

I waited. A strange swelling feeling was in my chest. A floating feeling. Like I was in the clouds.

Every time I moved my eye or attempted to move any part of my body, that no longer existed, I could feel pieces and gears shifted and move inside of me. It was strange, but incredible.

A loud snap sounded in my ears and my vision shut down.

There was silence for a minute.

"Wheatley? Are you okay?"

I groaned as the device ejected from my spine.

Valerie's eyes came slowly into focus. "How are you feeling?" she asked nervously, "Are you alright?"

My head felt light. I was pretty sure my eyes were crossed, but I couldn't tell. The swelling in my chest grew until I could barely breath.

"How are you feeling?" Valerie asked again.

I laughed slightly, then grabbed her shoulders and kissed her full on the mouth.

"Oh!"

She pulled back very quickly, covering her face with one hand.

I snatched my shirt off the ground and buttoned it up.

Valerie cleared her throat loudly. "So the, um... The results are... good. You did great. But the important thing is... what do you- What are you..."

"Yes," I said.

"Yes? Yes what?" She turned around.

"I'm going to do it," I replied, "I want to sign up. Tomorrow."

She smiled widely. "Okay then! Well..."

"That was the most incredible feeling of my life. Like I was...different. I want to do this. You have encouraged me and helped me beyond thank yous. There isn't anything more I can say or do to make up for everything you've done for me. Valerie, you are the most amazing and beautiful and wonderful and...and-"

I put my hands on either sides of her face. "Thank you," I said with emphasis.

She grabbed my hands, but didn't move them. "You moron," she said.

I scoffed. "A moron? You've got me all wrong, love. I can be quite brilliant when I want to and I-"

"Aw, shut up." She grabbed my shoulders and kissed me in the dim lighting of her childhood laboratory.

Everyday I had been with Valerie, I had been reminded that life was still good even after sour times. She had made my life sweet again after years of rough spots.

Suddenly, she was everything to me. And I might have been leaving normal life behind soon, but I would never let her go.


	9. My everything

"I've got the door," said Valerie.

"Thank you, love." With Chell on my back, my hands were left fairly useless.

Valerie swung open the front doors to Aperture Laboratories to admit Chell and I.

"Okay Chell," I said as we approached the front desk, "I've got somethings to settle down here. So you go up with Valerie and I'll met you there in just a few minutes. Okay?"

"Okay," she replied, sliding off my back.

Valerie planted a kiss on my cheek. "Good luck," she said, "See you soon." They separated from me and entered an elevator.

I sighed, brushed back my hair, and walked up to the reception desk. "Hello," I greeted, "I was just wondering, erm... Are the, uh, the spots for um... Project Android. Are they full, or... How- how would I sign up?"

Without even glancing at me, the woman took a small stack of paper out from under the desk and shoved it into my hands. "Just fill out the papers," she said.

"Ah. Thank you." I took a pen from my top pocket and started scribbling down my information.

Around ten pages through, I looked up at the receptionist. "Excuse me, did a Jason come by here recently? I don't know his last name, but he's tall, muscular, leather jacket and a motorcycle helmet."

The woman rolled her eyes. "Do I look like I know?"

I shook my head, sheepishly, and returned to writing.

This was it. I was finally doing it. No matter how scared I got, nothing could stop me.

As I reached the final signature space, a list of involved scientists caught my eye. The main developers of the project were on the top of the list and third name listed was...

"Valerie Cassidy," I said out loud, "Valerie? Where does she work?"

"In the medical section. Tenth floor."

My heart thumped. Valerie developed Project Android? Why hadn't she told me? Wasn't she disdainful of the idea? This wasn't making sense.

I signed my name and handed the woman the finished document.

"That should be all," she said.

"Yes of course. The project though, Project Android, it starts tomorrow, right?"

"Its been delayed," she replied.

"Oh? How long?"

"Four days. We'll be starting Sunday."

Sunday? No... Oh no. Not Sunday. "Th- This Sunday? I'm afraid I couldn't. Not this Sunday. You see, a friend of mine's birthday is this Sunday I simply can't-"

"If you can't make it Sunday, then I'm afraid you're wasting your time. The date cannot be changed again. Are you signing up or not?" Her dark brown eyes pierced mine.

"Ah. O- of course. I understand... I'll do it."

Chell's birthday was four days away. I had to be there for her. Lately, I was the only one that was ever there for her. And now I was going to miss her birthday.

But that couldn't matter.

I walked to the elevator.

It couldn't possibly take all day. I'd still see her; I'd still wish her a happy birthday. Nothing was going to stop me from seeing her. Nothing.

An hand seized my arm and yanked me down the hall and into an empty room. I barely had time to yelp.

My eyes met a pair of dark blue ones. "Dr- Dr. Rattmann," I said in surprise, "What are you-?"

"You're signing up for Project Android?" he demanded.

"I- Well, I- Yes. Why-"

"Good. Then you can help." He had a mad look in his eyes.

"Help? How can-"

"You have to shut it down." He kept interrupting me.

I could barely speak a full sentence before he blazed on. "I can't. Why wou-"

"I put Chell in. She's going to be a test subject. I needed someone on the inside. Something's going to go wrong. It's that robot. GLaDOS."

"Doctor. You're not making any sense. Why do I have to-"

"I've already put her in danger. I need you to back down. My daughter is in danger and I don't need you making things worse. Shut down the project and leave my daughter alone."

"Wait, hold on now. You can't just tell me to- "

"Everyone is in grave danger. Project Android needs to be shut down. You need to-"

"Hold on, stop!"

His mouth snapped shut and he looked surprised about it.

"You can't just tell me what to do. You sound absolutely mad. So stop. I'm not shutting down anything and I am most certainly NOT going to stop taking care of Chell."

He gritted his teeth. "You don't understand," he growled.

"No, you don't understand! I have cared for Chell beyond your skills for the past four years. She is my friend. She is everything to me and you cannot take that away."

"You are putting her in danger."

"No. You are. And if you really cared for your daughter, you'd actually be taking care of her instead of leaving her to manipulable people like me!"

I took a deep breath. "And furthermore, if you cared for Chell, you wouldn't be putting in testing facilities, to "further your research" which she is obvious terrified of doing. You would be at home with her, making potato batteries and cooking dinner. You'd laugh and cry and play games with her. You'd love her! You wouldn't push her away and force another man to raise her, then snatch her away and make her become a test subject."

Doctor Rattmann's mouth was hanging open.

I gave a short nod of my head. "Good day to you."

Then I left, with the psychopath's warnings trailing after me.

I knew he had brain issues. I knew that he was on medication, that he was probably forgetting to take. I knew he was crazy. But I didn't care.

For once, I was really, truly angry.

All of my unhappiness instantly flooded away when a familiar face linked arms with me. "Hello Valerie," I said with a fresh smile.

"Hey. I was taking some charts down to a friend of mine and I figured I'd check up on you. I left Chell with some of my friends, so she'll be fine. How are you?"

There were so many things I wanted to say that I didn't say. Instead, I said, "Why was your name on the list of developers for Project Android? Is that a mistake or... Is there something that you're not telling me?"

Her eyes immediately lowered. "Oh... I didn't think that would be there. I was only a contributor to- to the idea."

I held her gaze with a steely look. Slowly, she lowered her eyes again and sighed.

Finally, she broke. "Alright!" She withdrew her arm and pulled me into a deserted meeting room.

"Alright," she said quietly, "I invented Project Android. The idea of it anyway."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" I asked, "That's wonderful."

"No." She shook her head. "No. It was supposed to be a secret. It had to be a secret. I specifically told them not to say. I don't want to be responsible for it."

"But this is supposed to be an experiment. Don't you love experiments?"

She groaned. "You don't understand! This project was not for fun. It was to save a life."

She turned away, but I grabbed her arm and spun her around to face me. "What does that mean?" I asked, "What do you mean?"

She swallowed painfully. "I lost my father, ten years ago, to cancer." The words were choking her as she spoke them.

"Oh..." I wasn't sure what to say, but it didn't matter.

She continued on. "I loved him, so much. Jason too. He was our dear father. But..." She wiped her eyes. "The, um- The cancer. It came from a cell mutation. It can be passed down... by DNA. It can be passed down through the generations. So..." She trailed off in a path of dry sobs.

My mouth was hanging open. "Through the generations? Does that mean... Are you-"

"No no!" she said quickly, "No, not me. Not me..." She quietly sobbed. "Jason," she said, "He was diagnosed two months ago. It's terminal."

Those were the last words she was able to speak before she buried her face in her hands and dissolved into tears.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close.

To live her life and go through what she had been through, she was infinitely more brave than I had originally thought.

I wanted to tell her that, but all I could do was hold her tightly and allowed her to cry out her tears on my shoulder, gently whispering, "It's going to be alright. Everything's going to be fine."

"But what if something goes wrong?" she sniffed, "You, I'd certainly feel bad about! But what about Jason? I'd take away his only chance!"

"How could things go wrong?" I asked, "You're the most intelligent scientist I know. Any concept you come up with could never go wrong."

"I'm not a real scientist. Goodness...Look at me." She pulled away and took a tissue from her purse. "Crying all over you like that. I'm such a mess."

"A beautiful mess," I said, wiping her face.

She smiled and blew her nose. "I came up with the thought of Project Android when Jas was diagnosed. I thought, 'What if there was a way for him to be transferred into a different body that could never be affected by diseases?' I spent those two months trying to convince him to join. He was determined to travel the world and go on crazy adventures. I was so happy when he finally joined. Now he has a chance."

I smiled and rubbed her shoulder reassuringly.

"We should go," she sighed, "Chell's probably waiting for us and...we should get some things done before...well, anyway."

She wiped her eyes on more time, before taking my arm again and stepping out of the room.

...

"Boo!" shouted Chell as we stepped off of the elevator.

"Ah, you got me. Come here you!"

I chased her down and snatched her up into my arms. "Hello darling," I said, tapping her on the nose.

She squirmed downwards, out of my arms and onto the ground.

Valerie had drifted away to her workstation.

"Hey love?" I knelt down. "I need to talk to you."

She drew cautiously back to me. "What?"

I looked around the room to ensure that no one could hear us. "I should've told you this long ago."

Her eyes narrowed in confusion. "What is it?"

"I'm joining Project Android."

She gasped in horror. "You can't! No, no, no. Why would you do that?"

"Shh. It's not like that."

"You promised you would always be there for me!"

"I'm will! That's- that's why." I lowered my voice. "Your father is making you become a test subject."

She nodded slowly.

"I am going to request a job with the testing areas. That way, even though we'll be doing different things, we'll still be together, yeah? I am going to do everything in my power to make sure you won't be alone. To make sure I can stay with you. I'm going to keep you safe. I promise. And I will never, ever break that promise."

A huge grin spread across Chell's face. "Thank you, Uncle Wheatley." She threw her arms around me. "Thank you so much."

"Of course, love. I'm going to take care of you for as long as I live on this earth." I stood up and took her hand. "After all, you're my only best friend."

"Yeah... except Valerie, right?" There was a teasing edge to her voice.

"Well... no. I mean, Valerie's a different kind of friend."

"Oh yeah. A GIRLfriend."

"No! I- I- gah... Point being-" I swept her back into my arms. "You are my friend," I said, tapping her on the nose, "And that's never going to change. Not for all the Valeries and projects in the world."

"Good. That's just the way I like things. Because you're my friend. And that's not going to change for anything in the world."

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't bare to tell her that I was going to miss her birthday.


	10. My dearest Chell

A black car rolled to a stop in a parking spot in front of Aperture Laboratories. "You alright?" Valerie asked, putting a hand on my arm.

"Just nervous," I replied, my teeth chattering loudly as proof.

She rubbed my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me. Her eyebrows were drawn tightly together.

She drummed the fingers of her left hand on the steering wheel, seeming as nervous as I felt.

"What's wrong, love?" I asked, grabbing her hand.

She played with my fingers for a bit, before responding, "I just thought that I should inform you, as your unofficial doctor... there are a few things that you'll be unable to do...as a android."

I smiled. "I've come all this way. Of course I know."

"Well you... You won't be a man. And you won't see- erm, people. You won't be able to..."

Her green eyes gently raised to my blue ones. "I suppose we'll have to break up, then," she sighed.

"Break up?" I laughed, "I wasn't even aware we were together."

"Well... we were."

My laughter stopped abruptly.

"And I enjoyed every moment I spent with you," she continued.

"Well so did I. But this isn't goodbye. We'll see each other again."

"Well, yeah. Duh. I just meant that... We won't... I can't..."

She sighed heavily. "Dammit Wheatley, I'm in love with you."

Normally this would've been a surprise to me because no one had loved me since Mary-Ann in the second grade, but I knew. I had known for a long time. Maybe that time would've been shorter if she hadn't been so obvious about it. I was glad that she was though.

"I know," I said, "Er... That is...I- love you too..."

She grinned. "I know... Look, I should probably tell you. We won't see each other very often. Maybe not ever."

"That's not going to happen. I will demand free reign in order to see you. I won't let us be separated."

Her smile faded. "Right... We COULD still see each other, but... There are..."

"We've been talking about this for ages, Val. What are you so worried about?"

"I'm not! It's just... I'm never going to find someone like you, Wheatley. You are the only person that I could ever see myself with. It's going to be hard for me to let you go." She stared out of the side window.

I grabbed her hands. "It's always going to be hard, love. It's going to be hard for me too. But you've got a brilliant life ahead of you. Don't let me ruin it, okay?"

She didn't answer. I opened the car door.

As I stepped out, a hand latched onto my shoulder and pulled me back in. The door slammed shut behind me.

...

"Mr. Wheatley? Your nametag?" The receptionist clipped a tag onto my front pocket. "This will give you access to level 30."

I tilted my head. "Level 30?" I asked, "I believe you're mistaken. There isn't a thirtieth floor here."

"Not up," she said, shaking her head, "Down. Ah. You must be Mr. Cassidy." She walked away before I could ask her how to go DOWN in an elevator on the ground floor.

I turned down to see where she went.

She was clipping a nametag onto a very tall and muscular man. He had a leather jacket, dark hair streaked with green, and a beautiful brunette on his arm. His green eyes briefly met mine and he gave me a short nod.

Then he leaned over to the girl, whispered something in her ear, and gave her a kiss. I started towards the elevator, not wanting to intrude on their moment.

As the metal doors slowly closed, and hand shoved between them saying, "Hold up." Jason yanked them open and stepped in next to me. "Wheatley," he said with another short nod.

"Jason."

He unclipped his nametag and pushed it into a slot next to the floor buttons. A green light flashed above our heads and the elevator shifted, then started moving downwards.

Jason cleared his throat. "So... This is it then? This is the office?"

"Er... Well, sort of. I work on the third floor. Valerie works on the-"

"On the tenth. Yeah, I know... Hey. You got a little..." He rubbed his cheek with his thumb.

I raised my fingers to the side of my face then looked down at them. Red lipstick coated my fingertips.

I cringed and scrubbed viciously at the spot with my shirt sleeve, blushing as I did so.

Of course it didn't really matter. Jason knew it was his sister's. There was no keeping secrets from him.

I tried changing the subject anxiously. "The girl you were with downstairs, is she-"

"My girlfriend," he snapped.

"Ah... D- does she know?"

"Of course she knows. Why else would she have come with me?"

"Well, yes, about Project Android. I meant the, um... Er... Never mind." I silently scolded myself; I shouldn't have brought it up. Maybe he wouldn't notice.

There was a long silence, then Jason sighed heavily. "She told you, didn't she?"

"Uhhhmmmm... About what- Who- who told about...what?"

"Valerie told you. I know she did."

I was a bad liar and Jason was sharp, so I gave up trying. "Yes. She did. I'm so sor-"

"Don't. Don't even try. My life has been one big apology so just shut up before you even start. Yes, Maya knows. She knows that I'm dying. She knows my body is being eaten away. I told her that when I met her, in hopes of scaring her away. She didn't budge of course. She knows that I'm entering a scientific project that could quite possibly kill me, and she knows that I won't care if it does. She knows that she'll never see me again. She knows everything."

He glared at me. "Does that answer all of your questions?"

"I- I... I didn't..." I sputtered over my words.

"I know that you sought comfort from my sister. Her lipstick is all over your face."

"Hold on, now, hold on! She sought comfort from me."

He grabbed my arm. "Dude. It's okay. It's been years since Valerie came to my house with a big bright smile on her face. You put that smile on her face. Thank you. It's been a long time since she was happy."

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. "Ah. Here's our floor."

My feet were glued to the ground. I didn't know what to say or do; I felt like I was stuck back in Wheatley 2.0.

"You coming?" Jason asked.

I nodded, jerkily, then stepped off the elevator.

The underground floors were like nothing I had ever seen before. Dozens of scientists rushed around, papers flying through the air. Long catwalks and precarious metal rods ran along the ceilings in bright white rooms enclosed behind glass walls. People in orange jumpsuits jumped around in these enclosed rooms, carrying what I knew to be Aperture's Handheld Portal Device.

Doors down the metal hallway lead into meeting rooms and offices. Lab coats flapped around us and I had to squish myself against the walls to avoid being knocked over.

"Excuse me!" I called to a scientist, "Excuse me, sir."

"Yes? You're with Project Android? You're a bit late. Room B21." He gestured down the hall, then continued on his way.

"Thank you," I shouted after him.

Jason hummed just behind me, scaring me for a moment. "Let's see," he said, "B16...B17...B18...B19...Hrm... Ah. B21." He yanked open the door and we both stepped in.

My first impression was "Dentist's office." For a long time, I had been quite afraid of the dentist, so it was fitting that this was my initial reaction. But the closer I looked, the less it appeared like a dental works area. More like a very high tech hospital.

Large machines, which vaguely resembled MRI scanners lined the back wall. White reclined chairs stood in the middle of the room and on the right wall was a large window that was blocked off by a metal sheet.

"Hello boys," said a friendly looking nurse, "Please take a seat and I'll be with you in a moment."

"Do you think I could make a quick phone call?" I asked, "It's really important."

"Yes, of course. Just five minutes though. We'll be getting started soon."

I quietly thanked her and pulled out my cellphone. Chell's number was on speed dial.

I involuntarily tapped my toe, listening to the long dial tone in my ear. "Pick up, pick up," I muttered. It continued on for almost a full minute.

I just about gave up hope when I heard, "Hello."

"Hi Chell. I-"

"You've reached the number of Chell Rattmann. I am currently unavailable. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you. Bye!"

The phone beeped and my heart sunk like a rock. "Your message is now being recorded."

I sighed. "Hey Chell. It's Uncle Wheatley. I just, um... I was just calling to... Well Jason and I are getting started in about five minutes. I don't know when I'll see you again, so I just wanted to say... Erm... Well I just wanted to say that- I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. First. Yes. Happy birthday, love. And um... I- ... I love you and-"

A click sounded in my ear. "Uncle Wheatley?!"

"Chell?" My head perked up. "Oh, it's so wonderful to hear your voice. You have no idea. Listen, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I wanted to delay or-"

"It's fine. Really. It's not that important. I'm going to support every single one of your decisions from now on. I don't want you to be alone."

My heart fluttered. "Really?... Well... Well thank you. That means a lot to me."

There was a short silence.

"One more minute, Mr. Wheatley," said the nurse.

"Okay. Listen love. I'm terribly sorry I'm going to miss your birthday. I'll try to finish up here, quickly as I can. Maybe you could pop by later and we could see each other. I'll get you something! I'll get you a cake. Alright? Good old Uncle Wheatley won't let you down. I made a promise."

"Okay. Thank you so much for everything. I love you."

"I love you too. Goodbye."

I snapped my phone shut, still feeling like I had left many things unresolved.

"Please take a seat, Mr. Wheatley and we'll begin in a moment."

I settled nervously into the plush chair. Jason was to my left and on my right was a little boy around Chell's age.

He had curly blonde hair and bright brown eyes. In his hands, he fiddled with a small plastic spaceship. He soon noticed me staring and offered me a wide grin. "Hi," he said.

"Hello," I replied, "And what's your name?"

"Oh. My name's Kevin. But my friends call me Cosmo... Or- At least, my dad does." His eyes traversed the room, almost sadly. They brightened again almost instantly. "Guess where my dad is. Guess."

"Erm... Well..."

I barely even thought, when he blurted out, "He's in space! He went in a great big ship to collect moon rocks for Mr. Johnson."

"That's wonderful," I said politely.

"Okay everyone," said one of the nurses, "It's time for us to start."

She stepped in front of the shielded window. "Now, this process will take several hours, so we can only ask for your patience."

My stomach tightened as the metal covers on the glass window lifted. On the other side were flesh colored figures, hanging from wires, suspended in front of us like hams in a kitchen. I grimaced.

"These are unfinished android bodies," explained the nurse, "Their skin is made from an unbreakable multi-functioning fiber which will allow you to take extreme injures with minor damage. Although I highly doubt that you will need this protection.

"The inside of the body is lightweight metal organs that will allow you to eat and drink like and normal human, but since your bodies will be self sustaining, you won't require food. The reason they look so strange and the moment is because we will use these scanners-" She gestured to the strange machines in the back of the room. "-to get a full scan of your body and copy it onto your new bodies. This process could take three to five hours.

"Afterwards, we will perform memories copying routines in order that your new body will recall who you were and all of your past memories. The idea here is, not to transfer a consciousness to a different thing, but to take the entirety of a person, thoughts, memories, quirks, looks, and all, and put them into a more protected, more intelligent body."

I twiddled my thumbs and gnawed on my lip. If it was going to take so long, why couldn't we start now?

"You are reminded that Aperture Science is not responsible for any mishaps or injures that may happen during the transferal."

"Wait, what?" I sat up. "What sort of mishaps? What could happen to us?"

"Oh nothing serious. The procedure is perfectly safe. It's just that a memory chip could malfunction, intelligence could become damaged, simple things. Don't worry yourself Mr. Wheatley. I'm sure everything will turn out fine."

I laid back down, uneasily.

"Since this is going to scan you now, your android body will forever remain your current age. That's right, people. You're never going to age again."

I turned myself slightly and peered to my right. Kevin was just as excited as he was earlier, with a grin plastered across his face. He didn't seem to realize what was going on.

A second nurse was walking past all of the seated people asking them a question that I couldn't quite make out until she was just two chairs away from me. "The amount of time the procedure will take depends on how much we're filling the memory chip. How much do you want to remember?"

It was a strange question for sure, but I knew my answer in a second. I smiled confidently as she approached me.

"The amount of time the procedure will take depends on how much we're filling the memory chip. How much do you want to remember?"

"I know it'll take me quite a while, but I want everything. I want to remember everything my memory chip can hold."

She continued down to Jason.

What came out of his mouth, I had not been prepared for.

"How much do you-"

"Nothing."

"I'm sorry sir, what?"

The biker's face tightened. "Put my name in as Rick. I don't want to remember anything else. Understood?"

The nurse looked shocked, but she continued, "As protocol, you will know that you were once a man. Are you sure you want to wipe everything else?"

"Sister, when I say nothing, I mean nothing."

Terribly flustered, she moved on.

As she moved away, I glared down at Jason. "What were you thinking? Does Valerie even know?"

"Of course she does! I told her this morn'n." He sounded guilty and almost nervous.

"But- but... You can't-"

"I do what I feel is necessary. What's for the good of me and everyone else around me. Sometimes the truth hurts. Get over yourself." He pulled a flask from his top pocket and took a swig from it, until a nurse confiscated it.

"Okay everyone. We're just about to start. Please place your arms over your heads and keep your legs about two inches apart and we were get you into the scanners."

I raised my arms and the chairs laid out flat.

Little Kevin was starting to look nervous.

"Don't worry, Cosmo," I said, "Everything's going to be fine. Just think about something. Anything."

He squeezed his eyes shut. "Space. I'm going to think about space." A smile slowly spread across his face.

"Good. Yes. Just think about space for a while. Nice space. Big and blue with those lovely stars. Just think of that. Okay?"

He shot me a thumbs up with his eyes still closed.

The chairs turned and slowly moved inside of the scanning machines.

My arms were shaking. Already, my legs up to my calves were inside the box.

I took a deep breath, shut my eyes, and, like Cosmo, held on to one single thought.

Valerie.


	11. Love, Uncle Wheatley

I yawned and stretched my arms over my head.

"Try to pay attention Mr. Wheatley."

"I am. I am." I checked my watch. It was 10:15. "So am I allowed to be present at the event?" I asked.

The nurse smiled as she flipped through her papers. "Of course. Your tests are almost finished, so I'm sure we could let you off the hook. Just remember that if you disconnect from your management rail you will be running on reserve battery power and you'll only be able to walk around for about twenty minutes. After that, your body will shut down so that an assistant can carry you back to your chair. And make sure you call for assistance if you want to unplug from your chair. Those wires can be tricky and we don't want you to malfunction."

"Okay. Yes. Thank you so very much." It was almost 10:30; I was getting anxious.

"You remember the controls?"

"Yes of course I do," I said impatiently.

"This is all just protocol, Wheatley. Please don't get upset."

I sighed and turned my chair around.

"And one more thing," she continued.

I turned back to her. "Yes?"

"GLaDOS is going to be activated at 11:30 so we may need to call you in for that."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "Protocol Mr. Wheatley. Just a heads up."

"Alright. Can I go now? It's about to start and there's someone I really need to see."

She smiled. "We've holed you up here long enough. Go see whoever it is you need to see."

I turned excitedly and zoomed down the hallway.

Since I had requested to become a helper for the test subjects, I had be plugged into a chair that was suspended from a management rail so that I could follow the subjects around and... well, help them.

I punched in a code and the doors opened. The sight in front of me made my heart swell. Men and women wandered around the room, holding their little girl's hands. Scientist that did not have daughters directed the crowd and kept people, especially children, from wandering.

In the back there were several tables filled with little science projects: a mini volcano, the forty potato batteries... Something was missing.

"Wheatley?!"

I looked down below my chair and met the lovely green eyes of Valerie Cassidy. "Hello love. What're you up to?"

She gave a wide grin. "Come down here!" she exclaimed, "Let me see you."

I clicked a button and whirred down until I was eye level with her.

"Oh. My. Gosh." she said.

"Do you like it? I think it's quite- Gah!"

She threw her arms around my neck, jumped into my lap, and planted kisses all over my mechanical face.

"Goodness, love! Calm down or you'll make me short circuit."

She pulled away with her hands over her mouth. "You look amazing, Wheatley."

"Thank you. Say, have you seen Chell around? I was looking for her a moment ago, but I couldn't find her."

Valerie slowly shook her head, unable to keep her eyes off of my new metal structure.

"Stop staring!" My face started to glow red. "I'm going to overheat." I jammed a few buttons and my face cooled off.

Valerie just kept grinning. "Look. There's Chell now," she said, pointing into the crowd.

The little black haired girl was by herself, setting up her poster board, almost sadly.

"Chell!" I shouted, waving vigorously.

Her head popped up and she gazed around the room before locking eyes with me. Her eyes widened and her mouth split into a grin so fast I could barely register it before she started tearing through the crowd. "Uncle Wheatley!" She stumbled out and threw her arms around me.

"Good to see you, love. So good to see you again. They've had me locked up forever to test me. Passed most of them, just about finished up now."

She pulled away and studied my face. "You don't look any different."

"No. I don't feel any different. And thank goodness for that."

Valerie grabbed my hand.

For a moment, I almost felt like we were a family. Like we were happy and that nothing could ever break us apart.

But then I remembered that I was a robot. A zap went off in my right temple. "Oops. Bit of a malfunction there. Hang on a moment. I'll have to put you down, love."

Chell slipped out of my arms as I hit a few buttons and rubbed the side of my head. "There. Nothing to worry about. I didn't zap you, did I?"

They both shook their heads.

"Okay good. Hate to do that. Here. Let's go enjoy ourselves." I ushered them into the crowd. Neither of them made an attempt to mingle, so we mostly just walked around looking lost.

Someone in the crowd screamed loudly. I turned sharply and hurried towards the sound.

On one of the nearby tables, Rick was standing straight and proud, telling a very intense story to the children gathered around him. "Calm down," he said, "It's not like it was Explosion Day. Then, through the hole in the roof, there came a great yellow eye, staring at me in all of its evil and malice. So I took out my guns and shot it's fricking face off."

The children didn't seem to understand. There was a short silence.

"Okay kiddos, story's over. Now scram."

The children slowly dispersed, muttering to each other.

Rick winked at a nearby nurse. Valerie's grip on my hand tightened. We need to go somewhere else.

"Come on Chell. Let's go. We'll take a look at your board. Come along, quickly."

We were too slow.

"Hey! You!"

I sighed and turned around. "Yes, hello Rick." I said stiffly.

"You still owe me twenty bucks," he growled.

"Er... From what?"

"Ha! I'm just mess'n ya. Hey, when are you gonna get out of that chair. You know it's bad for your back, right?" He sent a playful blow to my chest that left me wheezing.

"I've told you, I can't. I have low battery reserve. I'm not risking sustaining damage like that poor kid."

Rick scratched the back of his head. "Ah yeah. Poor kiddo. Patrick. Steven. Christian. Inigo?"

"Kevin."

"Right. That one. He'll be fine. He's just got a little brain damage is all. Got stuck on space or whatever."

"An infinite loop. Tell me Rick, would you like to live the rest of your life thinking about the same thing over and over?"

"Er... No?"

"Then excuse us." I grabbed Chell and Valerie's hands and moved as quickly as I could.

Valerie looked as though she couldn't breathe.

We stopped at Chell's science project board. "Are you alright?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Yeah. It's just..." Her gaze drifted to the android who was now flexing his arms in an attempt to catch the nurse's attention. "It's just hard to lose him. I just don't understand... I mean, I understand. I know why... But at the same time, I don't."

"Don't worry. Everything's going to be alright."

"No. Not really. I made this to help people and it's taken everything from me. The bumps in my life are turning into a hill that I can't cross over. My rollercoaster's going down, Wheatley. This is it. This is the rest of my life. All I have left is science."

"Don't say that. You've got plenty more worth living for."

"Uncle Wheatley. Look!" Chell was pointing excitedly at a pot that rested on the table in front of her poster board.

There was a small sprout peeking out of the dirt, only now it wasn't small. It was growing and growing at an alarming rate until the stalk hit the ceiling.

"Wow." A scientist walked up to Chell, slowly clapping his hands. "I'd have to say this one deserves first prize," he said.

Chell grinned. "Wow, thanks mister," she said shyly.

I chucked. I was proud of her, even though she had stolen the materials that she used to make it work, she definitely deserved this. Much like Valerie, her life was full of ups and downs, but mostly downs. She needed something like this to help her.

My watch beeped. It was 11:30. "Oh no. I'm so sorry Chell and Valerie, but I've got to go. I'll be back as soon as possible. I promise."

My chair slid out of the room.

Why would they even think of activating her today? With all the children around, didn't they think something might go wrong? It didn't matter though. I was just an android. I couldn't change their minds.

My chair rattled to a stop. "Come on." I pushed the buttons, but it wouldn't budge. "Rusty old thing. Move it." I slammed my fist into the panel. The chair still refused to move.

What was going on now? I could faintly hear a voice. Feminine and robotic, but muffled. Had they already activated her?

I tried to stand up and check the management rail, to be sure that nothing was jammed in it, but the wires protruding from my back pulled me back down. I sighed. Maybe I could call for help. Would anyone be able, or willing, to find me?

Suddenly the robotic voice was loud and piercing in my ears. "Oh no. It looks like you're stuck. I wonder if you'll be able to help your friends escape from the neurotoxin."

Another robot's voice, this one male, echoed off the metal walls, "Neurotoxin release in T minus five minutes."

"What? Neurotoxin? No no no no no. That's wrong. Someone- Argh. Someone help!"

I knew no one could hear me. They were all trapped in the rooms around me, banging on the doors, yelling for someone to help them. And I was trapped in the middle of the hallway because my chair was stuck on its railing.

I reached out for a metal rod that was lying on the floor and smashed it into the management rail. The chair slid down a bit and rightened itself.

I smashed my fingers into the panel and my chair went flying down the hallway.

"Neurotoxin release in T minus four minutes."

"Override!" I shouted.

There was a buzzer sound. "Override rejected."

"Then go faster!" I wanted to help all of the trapped scientists, but I had priorities.

I slammed through the doors into meeting room.

"Wheatley!" There were tears streaming down Valerie's face. She was holding the hands of several young children. "We don't know what's going on. Someone activated a high amount of neurotoxin and we can't shut it down and-"

"It's the robot. It's GLaDOS. She's going to kill us all."

People were screaming and flooding out the exits.

Valerie was gasping for breath and trying to stand up without being knocked to the ground.

"Come with me," I shouted, "I can find a way out of here. I can still save us!"

Valerie shook her head. "I have to save the children. I have to go now. I know a way out."

"All those ways are locked!" I bellowed.

She shook her head again and beckoned to me. I lowered my chair to her level. She grabbed my tie and kissed me one more time, before seizing the children's hands and running out of the room. She didn't look back.

My mind was blank, but my heart was hollow.

"Neurotoxin release in T minus three minutes."

My eyes locked onto a little raven haired girl in the crowd. "Chell!" I shouted.

"Uncle Wheatley! Help me!"

I dove into the crowd and swooped her up into my arms. "Everything's going to be alright. I'm going to get us out of here." I crashed through doorways and flew down hallways.

I further I went, the deeper we seemed to be. If I wasn't careful, we were going to run out of time.

"Neurotoxin release in T minus-"

"Shut up will you?!"

Chell whimpered and buried her face in my shirt. "I'm scared. I'm scared Uncle Wheatley."

"Everything's going to be fine. It's going to be fine." I stopped in the middle of a long hallway.

We weren't escaping, we were going in deeper. I had made a horrible mistake.

Then an idea came to mind. A terribly foolish and dangerous idea. It would keep her safe though, and that was all that mattered.

I turned sharply down an adjacent hallway into the test subjects sleeping chambers. Amongst all of the red light doors, one was green. I rushed down to it and kicked it open.

A simple bed sat in the dark room. I laid Chell down in it.

"Neurotoxin release in T minus sixty seconds."

"It's going to be alright Chell. I'm going to shut down the neurotoxin, then I'll come back for you. I'm going to save you. I promise. Just wait here, okay?"

Her eyes were welling with tears, but she nodded.

"Okay. Alright. Good. I'll be right back."

She scrambled under the covers and laid there, quivering.

I backed out of the room and slammed the doors shut. The light turned red.

"Neurotoxin released in T minus twenty seconds. Fifteen. Fourteen."

The female voice came back. "Oh. I guess you thought that would save her, since you're the hero and all. Well it won't. I can still wipe her memory. But you know how much I would hate to do that. Oh wait. I wouldn't. In fact, I'm doing it right now."

"What? No! Leave her alone! Don't touch her!" I yanked on the doorknob and slammed myself into the door, but it wouldn't open. "Stop!"

"Mind wiping complete. Now she has no idea who you are. Oh look. Here's our friend, deadly neurotoxin."

Vents opened and a thick yellow mist sprayed all around me. "It's a shame that you're a robot since this won't kill you. It might make your circuits go haywire, but nothing more. What a pity."

I growled. This robot had taken too much from me.

I grasped the wires attached to my neck and pulled them out. There was a faint buzzing, but I ignored it. I tore out the cables in my back and jumped to the ground.

"I wonder what you're doing now," said the voice, "Trying to be heroic probably. Do you think you're the hero? Because you're not. You're just a robot now. A robot that can't even save it's friends. Boo hoo."

I fled down the hall. I knew where I had to go. A full map of Aperture was placed in my brain.

The thick yellow fog made it hard to see anything, but when I closed my eyes I could see myself running along the map. My metal feet crashed into the hard ground. I had to end this.

The floor beneath my feet disappeared and I fell. "Ah!"

My body smashed into the ground.

I groaned. I was only a robot, but I was built with pain simulators. Now I wish I wasn't. I wished I wasn't anywhere near human like. All I could do was struggle to my feet and keep running.

I reached the catwalk. It wasn't too far now.

"Oh. The main breaker room. I guess you think you're going to shut me down. Because you're not. There's nothing you can do. I'm in control of everything. I could drop you to your death or crush you under a falling ceiling. You're tiny and I'm huge. It's nothing you can fix. It's just how it works."

I threw open the doors to the breaker room and scanned it. It was a small tube shaped room with switches covering the walls.

I dropped to my knees in front of a metal box that was attached to the ground. I ripped it open and started pulling out wires. Heavens know that I had no clue what I was doing or if it would kill me, but I started plugging myself in.

"That's not going to do you much good, you know. There's nothing left for you to do."

"You're wrong!" I shouted, "There's still something I can do."

The room spun to the side and I lost my balance. As I struggled to my feet, the floor started moving up.

This was it. It hissed to a stop.

The mass of metal and wires that was GLaDOS glared down at me. It was enough to make the average man cower in fear.

Normally I was the average man, but not today. Today I had a steely resolve. I had to do this.

"Look at you," the robot taunted with a voice that made me shiver, "You're just a puny little robot. You must still think you're a man. You know, there are a lot of things that androids can't do."

My mind flashed to Valerie and a sharp pain plagued my chest.

"Did you also know that your mind is connected to my mainframe? I can hear all of your thoughts. I know what you're planning to do. You can hide it from me."

My breathing became harsher and my head pounded.

A loose wire hung from the robot woman's neck. I grabbed it with both hands and started climbing.

"Get off of me, you moron!" The figure began to thrash around violently and, try as I might, I could not hang on to the wire.

I was flung away and crashed into the ground several feet away. As I hit the ground, I heard a distinctive 'crack' just above my left temple. Pain spread from the spot and all around my head like a virus.

I groaned in immense pain and slumped to the floor.

"Oh no. You've damaged your brain, haven't you?"

The male voice spoke in my earpiece, "Severe damage to intelligence chip retained. Shutting down to reserve battery." My vision started to go black.

"No no! Override! Override!"

There was a whirring sound and my vision came back. "Override complete."

My head was like a bee's nest, buzzing and crawling with horrible little things. Ideas were digging themselves into my thought processors. Terrible ideas. I needed to run. I needed to run far far away and never look back.

No... I couldn't. I couldn't leave it all behind. Where was I?

I knocked a fist into the side of my head. "Think brain. Think," I muttered.

"You don't have a brain anymore. It's broken. Just like everything else inside of you. Now get lost." A claw reached down from the ceiling and grabbed at me.

I rolled to the side and latched onto it in return. "What are you doing?" It hoisted me high into the air, over the AI's head.

I wanted to scream, but I couldn't remember how to speak as I flew through the air. I let go of the claw and landed on GLaDOS's back.

"Get off of me! We're not doing this again!"

I shoved my hands into the back of her head and started ripping out wires.

"Stop! You're going to break something!"

This was it? This was my brilliant plan? I was going to get myself killed.

But then... that was the plan all along, wasn't it?

I opened the panel on my chest and started plugging myself in. I was right; this was it.

GLaDOS stopped thrashing around. "You don't even realize how much of a moron you are. You just plugged yourself into my mainframe. While I was still attached. So now I can control you."

"No," I said firmly, "So that I can contain you." I plugged in one last wire.

Something inside of her flashed and electricity buzzed. I could see it hopping along my skin. My body was vibrating and I couldn't move. The buzzing became extremely intense and I could hear GLaDOS gasp a little in pain.

All at once, the electricity stopped and my body seized up. I slumped over, then fell off of GLADOS's back and hung in the air, with only the wires attached to my back keeping me suspended.

My vision went black, but I could still hear her horrible voice. "So, I guess you really thought you were going to be the hero today. Well you're not. In case you didn't pick up on that. You've made me incredibly angry, so do you know what I'm going to do to you? I'm going to return you to your factory settings. Do you know what they do that to? Toys. When a toy malfunctions, they return it to its factory settings which erases all memory that the toy previously had. Because that's all you are. Say goodbye to your memories, toy."

I could see Valerie. I could see her long blonde hair, tangled and sweaty, plastered across her face. She took a last shaky breath and collapsed to the floor, green eyes staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I don't know why that recording played. Good for you to know though."

I could see Chell, hiding under the covers as a blue mist sprayed into the room.

"I'm putting her in cryosleep and then she's going to test. You know, since you put her in the test chambers. I don't know when she'll wake up. Maybe ten years from now. Maybe ten thousand. Either way, you won't remember to keep your promise. But then again, neither will she. Goodnight, you moron. Don't bother me again."

My mind faded into blackness.

The End.

 **A/N: Wake Me Up by Ed Sheeran = Alternate ending for Wheatley and Valerie. Thank you for reading my story. Leave me a review and tell me what you thought. Although I'm kind of expecting someone to yell at me for this ending. Heh. sorry. Love you all. Bye now. 3**


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